没有妈妈的日子：第五天

Those Unexplained Feelings...

It's the first time I'm writing, without really having a content...

I'm 'lost' emotionally. No, I wasn't referring to coping to my mother's departure. I'm coping that fairly well.
I'm referring to other issue.

It's better sometimes to not be transparent. Yes. Too much information will exposed the thing.
It was just earlier today that I confided to this ex-school mate and a girlfriend of mine about the 'unexplained feeling'. This will be a little secret between us...

Thought it was a past feeling... However it has became a present feeling.

Once I mentioned this thing to Sow Lei Wei almost a year back... I didn't tell the truth exactly. I wanted her to guess (and keep guessing)...

I'd made the 'move'. It's not really a patriarch society anymore... Feminist ideology is widely used nowadays. True?

Writer's note: I believe it takes time, to defy or confirm.

没有妈妈的日子：第二天

A Life Without Her...

I am writing this post with grieve.
My mother left us as in 5.47am yesterday, 18th December 2012. My father and grandmother was at her side until her last breathe. I came with my uncle and aunt from home to the hospital but it was too late. She had left us, forever...

I'd accepted the reality that she had left. Life has to go on no matter what.

Tears flowed non-stop for the past three days since she was admitted.

I believed that she wouldn't want to see me in sorrow after she left.
I'll always be her cheerful daughter and friend as she know I would be.
I'm independent and strong as she know I would be.
Nothing can pull me down as she know I would be.


Writer's note: I appreciate every valuable moments I had with her. I didn't have any regrets of not spending enough time with her. I'm always a person who stays and sticks at home a lot and I'm with her most of the time.
Thank you for raising me to what I am today. You're the one I love and will treasure forever.

Writer's note 2: I'm typing this as bittersweet flows from my eyes.

没有大舅的日子：第1272天

Finals then movie trip then girls-get-together outing (in planning) and lastly Macau...

I try to make this as short as possible...
Basically the title of this blog post has gave out what I wanted to say.

1. Finals
Currently doing my finals. This is my most hectic semester, ever! Things seems not to end.

2. Movie trip
Was planned back in October (as I recall) with a friend of mine, 'Adik'. Initially we planned to go for 'Skyfall'. However we couldn't seem to find the suitable time. Until now... Coincidently, our finals end on the same day! And me and some of our friends are going for the movie.

3. Girls-get-together outing
Whatsapp-ed my ex-schoolmate, Ju Yi to tell her about this planned outing. Honestly, I haven't seen her since F6! I miss her! Hopefully this outing can work out! Feels like celebrating her post-birthday.

4. Macau
Yes!!! My passport can be in use after 4 years! If not the RM 300 is put to a waste. Anxious to be abroad since my Taiwan trip four years ago... Will Twitpic, upload on Facebook and blog about the trip once I return to Malaysia. Do I sound\ like those tour bloggers? Ha, ha, ha!


Signing off for this week.
Until next week.


Writer's note: Hopefully I can score in my finals. Lack of confidence as usual... That's me.

没有大舅的日子：第1259天

Without Social Network, for now...

As at this morning I had deactivated my Twitter account. For almost two years of using Twitter, I had NEVER once deactivated my Twitter account.

(At this moment) it had been more than eight hours since I deactivated my Twitter account. I PROMISED to stay away for AT LEAST a day, just 24 hours... I can do it!

Life took a 180 degrees change when I joined Twitter. Initially, it was very boring. I rarely follow anyone. I found some of my F6 classmates later and the Twitter circle had expanded. I fell in love with this micro-blogging site, 'madly'. I Tweet more than 30 times a day, according to some Twitter statistics.  Take the amount of 30 Tweets a day. There is 24 hours a day, which means I Tweet 1.25 Tweets per hours. In a matter of fact, I think it is more than 1.25 Tweets per day. That was just a rough calculation.

I read this article entitled "A Twitter over 'death'". The columnist stated, "I felt so isolated because I could not connect with my Twitter friends and share the frustration that Twitter was down... It is not as if I'm a Twitter addict. I've stopped tweeting while I'm having a meal with someone. I can live without Twitter".

I am feeling isolated right this moment because I feel disconnected to Twitter-sphere. I might have missed something today. The columnist also stated that he got the news of a journalist killed in Somalia from a user. Similar to him, I got the news of a bomb scare in the Shah Alam courts from a Twitter user who happens to be a lawyer.

Twitter is indeed a nice space to 'hang around'. You tend to meet different kind of people that you followed, they followed you or both of you follows each other. I also love those sarcastic jokes on Twitter from various accounts.
What I do mostly on Twitter are bant-and-rant, gossip with my girl or sometimes guy friends, and interact with other users.
I thought I'll be clean from social network sites for today... However I can't hold my 'addiction' of going online. Think about it what do people ACTUALLY do when they surf the Internet? Before the Facebook and Twitter domination era, I surf the net mainly on YouTube and looking at the entertainment news. I spent an average of four hours online in two days. Nevertheless, times had changed dramatically. There is 24 hours a day, and still I feel that I don't have enough time to online. To accommodate my convenience of web-surfing, I switched to a data plan on my mobile so that I can be online for most of my walking hours. The only time I'm 'offline' would be the time I'm asleep. For the past eight hours, there were many thing I had came across that I wanted to Tweet. Wait! My account was deactivated and I (strongly) promised myself that I stay away for AT LEAST or MINIMUM 24 hours.
OK, I CAN DO it! (The statement doesn't sound convincing huh?)

There were some things that I came across for the past eight hours that I WOULD Tweet, given that my account is active;

1. "Being a Grammar Nazi of BM! Ha, ha, ha!"
2. "Girls, don't 'over-make up' on yourself. I can't recognize you when you're not in make up"
3. "Can I please have my desired subject for my final sem, please?!"
4. "LOL! Accountants are indeed calculative. They won't let go even for a cent!"
5. "Who wants 'souvenirs'?! Ha, ha, ha!!!"


Writer's note: I DON'T think that I can actually survive a day without Twitter. This deactivating serves as a fasting for me. Although I can survive without Facebook, I can't live a day without Twitter. Currently I am trying very hard, not to go to Twitter web to reactivate my account...

没有大舅的日子：第1238天

好人，坏人 2。。。

（说实的，很久没有写中文了）

继两年前的标题“好人，坏人”，重新在写多一片关于当好人或坏人的心语录。

很多人爱‘好人’因为他常为别人着想。
很多人讨厌，甚至恨坏人因为他常作出让人不满意的事。

你到底是个好人或者坏人？

在现实生活中，我领悟到每个人抱着各自的想法，理念。大家因顾及别人的感受，经常把自己摆在次位。我并非鼓励要把自己弄得自私点，而是要大家静思考，那些常顾及别人的想法，感受，终究是不是把自己的想法及理念都丢在一旁？
以前的我，原以为对别人好，他们因此会对你好。不该说一些伤害别人的话语。。。
但，哑忍并非好事。我领略到其实对一些事物哑忍，反而造成更大的伤害。那这些人，间接当上了‘坏人’。。。

’坏人’被视为破坏者。每天跟其他人对立。
倒过来，我反而欲‘称赞’这些坏人因为他们的敢作敢言。他们只不过想追求自己的梦想，而往往跟其他人闹意见不和。
他们是因为与别不同而被人讨厌？这未免太不公平了！

对我而言，我认为我自己（大部分时间）是个坏人。那是因为我是那种口出狂言的人，自主意大，我行我素的那类。我不会完完全全认同一个理念，经常要反驳。
就是这种性格导致我许多人际关系破裂。。。
我也有‘好人’的方面。如果某某人欲要我帮忙，我尽全力帮他。

好人：常为他人着想，事事将自己放在第二位，抱着‘我为人人’精神。
坏人：执着，为自己而想，敢作敢为。


结论，每个人可以选择当个好人及坏人，在不一样的情况里。

附上侧田的‘好人’以及方炯镔的‘坏人’。（应景了吧。。。）