没有妈妈的日子：第105天

What You (Should Have) Said...

Kindly watch your words.


This is another ranting piece of mine. And after this rant, I take the chance to tip on things that one supposed to say.


I am a person that speaks 'straight from my heart'. Due to that, I offended much people because they do not seems to like what I told them.
Anyways... it is up to them whether they wanted to take it or not.

Human beings are weird. They LOVE to hear good things and reject the bad.
I am too. I like listening to good things. However, I also listen to bad things in life and later could forget about it.
The key factor lies in the speaker. To present neither good or bad spoken words.


At some points, certain spoken words (I would not call it bad) deeply 'strikes' you in the veins.

Let me narrate a conversation over the online chat that took place during the Chinese New Year period:
I was chatting online with an old friend that I have not seen for more than six months due to our hectic lives. We do plan to meet up but time does not permit. Thus, I can only interact with this friend on the cyber world.
This old friend really cares about the romantic relationship I (might) have in my life. Frankly, I still do not have one. The old friend thinks I am 'developing' with someone and I squashed those claims.
OK. I only admit if I DO going out with someone.
As the conversation goes, the old friend and I chatted on romantic relationships. The old friend mentioned something about 'keeping a sense of mystery', stating that couples should not disclose their thoughts. At the very moment, I am raging furious because of the statement, 'keeping a sense of mystery'!

Which linked to another real life situation to this couple that I knew. Both parties did not disclose their thoughts and views that leads to a catastrophe.
The girlfriend expects and assumed her boyfriend to what she thought is 'romantic ideally'. The truth is the boyfriend is not a percent close to being romantic. The unspoken expectations lead to frustrations as the girlfriend did not get what she desired...


Relationships turn risky because two individuals did not tell what are they thinking and only reckon their other half knows what are they thinking, most times.

It is a complete fallacy!!!
Men and women do not think alike and see things differently. Never assume someone will understand you when you did not tell what are you having in your mind.

Yes. Assumptions and hypothesis play a big part in most relationships.
However, if the thoughts are vague and ambiguos at the start, the assumptions and hypothesis are wrongly constructed therefore.

Argh! Why and how I could get it wrong?!

I also received negative feedbacks throughout these few months. The worst would be the feedback of me having poor communication knowledges when speaking to others...

My reaction: bangs head.

This is one of those absurd comments I have ever heard...
I do not view the negative words importantly. If I do take it for real at the first place, I might doubt my entire decision of joining the wrong degree programme. In more severe case, I might just be an introvert and lock myself from the world because I would never wanted to face the cruel and ugly reality.

It is pointless to view negative comments as something signifiant to you. My advice would be, "listen, then forget it after some time."

Who actually keep tracks of EVERY negative feedbacks?
Well, if you do... I would harshly say this to your face, 

"You have low self esteem, insecure with yourself, and you do not know how to judge what is appropriate!" 

Writer's note: Sow Lei Wei, do read this up... I wrote this based on my personal experiences.